Diaper Duty

Last weekend we traveled to the local mall (Lloyd Center) so Holli could get some new makeup. Like the good husband I am I took the boy to change his diaper. The bathroom was full of old men making a lot of noise, luckily the changing table was not in a stall. I began changing Links diaper and had the new one in hand. He began peeing so I quickly covered the water-gun before getting too much pee on me. I then threw both diapers away and went back to get a third diaper , but lo and behold there were no more diapers. I contemplated getting the diaper out of the trash because it was not too wet. I decided against this due to the smell, stank, and filth of public restroom trash receptacles. I also thought about stuffing paper towel in his onesie like a make shift hill-billy diaper. The paper dispenser was broke and I worried about chaffing so on to plan C. I buttoned the onesie over Link (button a onesie on a boy going commando is more difficult than you would think). I then went on an excursion through the mall to find another diaper. I was fearful of asking a stranger for a diaper because they would pass judgement about my parent abilities. I passed one man sitting outside of gymboree with his baby. I walked back and forth three times before working up the nerve to ask for a diaper. His english was broken (russian i believe) and he left the diaper bag in his car. He said i could follow him out there but fearing he might be a member of the russian mob i returned to my pampered wife in Macy's. By this point Holli had asked a passer-by for a diaper and i went hurriedly to the bathroom to change Link (still hasnt peed yet). Sadly the bathroom was closed for cleaning. I hurried to the fitting room to try and change him there. With no help from the fantastic Portlanders customer service (manners are not a priority). Changed him on the lap in the fitting room (Bench barely fits my ass). I vow to never go out in public again!